Forkroads

I never expected the night to end the way it did. It frightens me how life can be so cruel at times... throwing you curveballs when one least expects it. One moment I was sitting around with my team mates enjoying supper after an awesome gathering... the next second I am huddled with my family awaiting the prognosis of my grand-dad's medical condition. This Chinese New Year has been a rather eventful one... perhaps a tinge too eventful for my liking. What's said has been said and what's done cannot be undone. I wished things had turned out differently but I realized that the events leading up to the status quo has its roots embedded in some not too distant past... far beyond my sphere of influence. There isn't much I can do or say that can change what has been done and there sure as hell isn't anything I can do to alter the course of this flow of events. What I can change and control however is how my life moves on from here on... seeing my grand-dad lying there reminded me just how much I have been taking my own good health, life and my loved ones for granted. Marcus Aurelius once said, "Live not one's life as though one had a thousand years, but live each day as the last." Its time to start living and to stop sitting by watching it idly slip by.

Tomorrow's the op and I am praying hard that all will go well and fine. Goodnight World :)

Solitude

Firstly, many thanks to Terry for introducing that brilliant article to me. It is a rather heavy read but I'll try and figure my way around it soon enough. I am now in week 4 (I think...) of my retreat from the world and I must conclude that it has been rather therapeutic thus far. I have met up with a good number of old friends whom I seem to have lost touch with in the course of my life and it was great reconnecting with them. The weather has kinda ruined much of my training plans but I guess gyms and indoor training programs were developed for that very reason. After my rather public outburst last November, I learnt a great many lessons about myself. I learnt that simply wanting something isn't going to get you anywhere anytime soon. Life, sadly, does involve a bit of work and just because I've had it easy in the past doesn't mean the good things in life will be handed to me on a silver/ gold platter. So with those thoughts and lessons in mind, I have decided that I shall not be caught up in the frivolous rat race. Unfortunately, it was I who fell victim to the very "syndrome" I have been preaching about. I let what others thought of me got the better of me and succumbed to all that negativity that I thought would not affect me. Anyway, the last 4 weeks most certainly gave me more than enough time to think about all that has happened in the last 2 months and the direction my life has been thinking ever since I entered University.

Since my matriculation into NUS, I have been bitching about the living conditions, the people, the work atmosphere etc... I never once looked in the mirror and wondered if the problem laid within me instead. Sure... I might have had a falling out with my team-mates, the single most unmotivated sporting liaison officer I have ever had in my life, the worse administrative staff and the worse possible food in hall... the list goes on but again some of these conflicts/ situations were in some way perpetuated by me. So... I guess with the new year comes new resolutions... let's see if I can hold my course during that long winding journey up ahead :)

On a somewhat lighter and much more trivial note, I strongly discourage anyone from watching Storm Warriors, which I can safely say is the worse show I have watched in years. B- CGI coupled with a rather superficial storyline and ridiculous one liners... it was like watching 6 dollars burn in slow-mo over 2 hours... argh.

The (Never-Ending) Pursuit of Happiness

Human wants can never be satisfied. That is a fact. The moment a want is satisfied, "puff" appears another item on the list. Those with everything or at least everything they think they need will then embark on the age-old quest of finding Happiness. They'll work hard, amasses huge amounts of wealth (the successful ones that is...), purchase ridiculous amounts of properties etc; anything to find that ever-elusive spark of happiness. What many fail to realize, until its too late, is that this little thing called happiness isn't found. It can't be discovered in some diamond mine or dug up from under the leather car seat of a Bentley or Rolls Royce; it has to be made. Incidentally, the raw materials needed to make this tiny thing called happiness aren't costly in anyway whatsoever. These materials are found in the little things we do everyday; in the smiles we see in strangers, in the sweat droplets which appear after a long bike ride; in the cheery conversations we make with friends and family about the weather and in the hopes we have for a better future. Once you're able to find all these tiny, seemingly insignificant joys in our everyday lives and internalize it all, viola, you've got yourself a lifetime's worth of Happiness right in front of you. :) I hope you realize one day that you've got everything you have right in front of you all this time :)

The Heat is ON... again....

16 weeks isn't a long time right.... Damnz

The Wall

The mind was willing but the body was weak. A first no doubt, as the vice versa usually occurs. A let down is something I really don't want to be but it seems as the moment draws nearer and as the hours pass, I seem dreadfully close to turning the one nightmare I can't shake off into reality. It could be the lack of focus. The wandering of the mind perhaps. Or perhaps the absence of discipline in the soul. Whatever it is, its winning. D-Day isn't a lifetime away. 40 days away isn't an eternity. So many opportunities, so little time. So much potential, way too little discipline. Much to do, much to change. Let not the mind nor the body fail me now. nor ever.

Rocket Science

The first ever experiment I engaged in, I seriously underestimated the force of the explosion. Upon ignition, the combustion/explosion triggered failed to propel the rocket to the intended flight and after a 3 second flight, exploded in a flash of light and debris. 

The second test flight wasn't successful either. The detonator did ignite but due to the poor wiring, failed to ignite the rocket fuel. Upon fixing the wiring and replacing the detonator, a subsequent test flight was initiated. This time round the detonator was faulty and after a series of pops, failed to ignite the fuel too. The arrival of the monsoon season hindered further proposed flights for the season.

The third official test flight just commenced a month back. Despite the rocket being in working conditions and all previous technical issues sorted out, a series of unfortunate events has grounded the test flight. The crew seems to be divided in two with regards to when the flight should be carried out and the type of payload to be placed in the rocket. The test flight will be postponed indefinitely till the team can get its act together. 

I am hopeful that the third flight will be successful. Nevertheless, I maintain my earlier stance that rocket science is a tricky affair and that a failed third attempt will not dampen the spirit of the crew in general. It is disappointing to have failed a third time, but good things don't come easy. We're still deciding whether to proceed with the third test attempt and we're hoping for the best.