2011

2010 hasn't been what I would consider a great year. Sure, there were tons of good times but... just not great. I travelled up to Scandinavia for the first time, had tons of fun in NUS with the Aquathlon and the Swim teams, moved into my new place and had the opportunity to design and do up my own room... many things indeed and for that I feel blessed and happy. However, as mentioned previously, there were stuff that happened that kinda put a dampener on this otherwise wonderful year. My lousy grades (which will impact how 2011 turns out significantly...), my dismal performance in swimming and triathlon (which hit an all time low this year...) and my overall lack of enthusiasm and focus in life... these have been quite the dampeners in my life thus far. It was about a year ago when I wrote this entry as my last post for the 2009:

Its hard to believe that just 10 years ago, without Sumo or this lappy to keep me company, I was getting all excited as I marked the end of a good 1999. Excellent PSLE grades, entry into RI... the sky seemed like the limit then and I was invincible. As the years went by, I got lazy and stopped working hard to bring myself to new limits and reality... through gravity... sent me crashing back down to earth. So here I stand, somewhat battered and bruised, my ego shattered upon the dusty floor, looking skywards where my mates are now soaring high above enjoying the fruits of their labour. Stung with envy and ravaged by self pity, I have cried, screamed in rage and in the terminology of the 21st century, emo-ed about the state I was and am in countless times. However, I have also learnt from my mistakes and realized what I must do next to get back up in the sky where I know I belong. The next ten years are going to come and go twice as fast, as what others who have made that journey all say, and I don't intend on taking a backseat this time around. So with that I say farewell to 2009 and hello to a new start in 2010:)

It is most unfortunate that after typing that entry, I left it rot in the archives and didn't pay heed to any of it. I knew what would happen if I slacked and strayed... and did it anyway. In short, as a teammate so wholly put it as I confided in him, I had it coming. I will be 24 next year. Things aren't looking too good at the moment but I hope I can leave a much better end-note for 2011. I realized that what I needed wasn't a Zukerberg moment but a Rockefeller or Gardner moment. I need to get real and start fighting for what I want. Goodnight world.

New Challenges Await!

I think I have taken a long enough hiatus from everything... time to get things moving along again :)

Dreams do come true!

2010

My mum decided to shift the full length mirror to the corner of my room. I took the opportunity to throw out some of my junk. I got back my rather dismal results this morning and realized that my results this semester just used up my final lifeline. After a brief and frantic calculation... I realized that the situation CAN still be salvaged but it will require serious and hard work for the next 2 and a half years. I love what I am doing but I really dread the predicament I am in. Going on exchange is out of the picture for the rest of my academic career in NUS already. Its that bad. I guess I shouldn't have enjoyed myself TOO much during the academic year. I don't believe in crying over spilled milk so I doubt I am going to sob or bitch and whine over what has been done. I had a good time and I guess this is the price you pay for having a good time in Singapore. Everyone just surges ahead. I was complacent. Terribly complacent. I underestimated the competition in NUS and took things a tinge too easy. But then again lesson learnt. Painful as it is, it was a good lesson. Just as I had underestimated the competition, I overestimated the comfort I thought I'd have and the happiness I thought I'd get in other aspects of my NUS career, be it my sporting pursuits or my hall life. I was looking in all the wrong places. I realized I had my priorities the wrong way around all the time. One should be able to appreciate life BUT not at the cost of the very determinant of that quality of life in time to come. My foray into economics last semester proved to be an extremely costly experiment, with the devastating results impacting even my CAP this semester. Damage Control. That will be the central theme of 2010. Damage Control. Be it Armageddon, Deep Impact, 2012 or even AVATAR... upon the onset of some impending disaster, a hero will come forth and engage in some form of damage control and in so doing save the day in 2.5 hours. I've got about 2.5 years to salvage this mess and its high time that knight in shinning armor within me to save what's left of my tertiary academic career.

Defying Gravity

Inspirational Songs are hard to find? Try this for Size :) Watched Wicked in London last July and this song... man... Amazing :) Which reminds me... I am going to audition for some random role should this musical EVER make it here :)

PS: Do mute the player on the right before listening to this... make sure u do it before u even start listening!!!!!

Defying Gravity

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have stayed calm for
once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphie, listen to me. Just say you're sorry:
(sung) You can still be with the Wizard
What you've worked and waited for
You can have all you ever wanted:

ELPHABA
(spoken) I know:
(sung) But I don't want it -
No - I can't want it
Anymore:

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
''cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try, I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost!
I'd sooner buy
Defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye
I'm defying gravity
And you can't pull me down:
(spoken) Glinda - come with me. Think of what we could
do: together.

(sung) Unlimited
Together we're unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest team
There's ever been
Glinda -
Dreams, the way we planned 'em

GLINDA
If we work in tandem:

BOTH
There's no fight we cannot win
Just you and I
Defying gravity
With you and I
Defying gravity

ELPHABA
They'll never bring us down!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at her, she's wicked!
Get her!

ELPHABA
:Bring me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
No one mourns the wicked
So we've got to bring her

ELPHABA
Ahhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!

IVP Swimming Day 1

Today was the 1st day of the Inter Varsity and Polytechnics Swim Meet. The mood was surprisingly relaxed and it was pretty cool seeing old faces in new schools in and around the pool.

Ming Kun, Weiming and I after a quick "Warm-Up" swim in the Freezing pool

I was down for the 200 m Breast Stroke. My event was the 3rd event of the meet and scheduled immediately after the Girls' 200 m Breast and Guys' 1500 m swim. I must admit that I was pretty impressed by Jon's 1500 swim and Sandy's stellar performance in the 200 m Breast. I guess their hard work and training really did pay off in the end.

Me making acquaintance with slow and pain

Anyway, my event was up next and I was in heat 2. After watching the 1st heat swim their race and gaping in horror at the number of disqualifications, I made a mental note to myself to try NOT to make any of the mistakes they made during my swim. After that small mental-note-taking session, I made my way to the plunging board and at the sound of the start signal was off on my 200 m journey.

The swim went surprisingly well (by my standards anyway) and I think given the rather disappointing amount of time and effort I put into it, I did a rather decent job of finishing the race. I clocked a dismal yet to-be-expected time of 3 min 18 secs for my 200 m breast, a far cry from what I used to clock during the RI days. The race officials thought other wise and DQed me over for "performing another downward butterfly kick." On hindsight, I guess they were probably right. This butterfly kick thingy after a plunge and kick-off for breast stroke is rather new for me and I most probably botched it up somewhere during my swim. Lesson learnt I guess.

Guys' Team :)

Watching the rest of the swimmers giving their all during this meet really got me thinking about my goals and objectives in the upcoming biathlon sporting season. I make great plans and grand dreams but I never seem to be able to hold the course and realize them. That grit and focus I found in myself during my inaugural Ironman race in Switzerland... I need to get it back. I need to get my priorities right and decide what its is I really want in time to come. Fast Cars, Easy money and a "Cool" social life? I think I'll give those a miss for the time being. Let's start talking about that sub-40 10km run or that 20 min 1.5 km swim :)

Action always speaks louder than words

I arrived in Liverpool about 6 hours ago, after an hour's train ride from Manchester. The journey here was rather uneventful, lest the thrilling 6-7 rounds of bridge that we had whilst we slacked on the train. Our hotel here in liverpool is about a 5 minutes walk from Liverpool Central Rail. We arrived at about half past 5 and after the late check in, stoning around and quick toilet break, we didn't have much time to do much except to walk the already emptying streets of Liverpool. 

I must say that Liverpool certainly doesn't have the hustle and bustle of Manchester but it still is a really beautiful place to be in. 

Anyway, JJ headed out to Anfield to check out his beloved stadium (which I too won't be going to...) whilst Norms, Melvin and I headed back to the hotel, after a lovely walk round the city centre and the river side to chill out and get some drinks (PS: Beer is really cheap here... and I have been improving my drinking skills quite a bit...). I am now sitting at the lounge, with two bottles of beer (Leffe... belgium brand I think..) reading and blogging... quite the life I must say hahaha... 

This trip has given me the opportunity to see the world through my own eyes for what it is. I have seen the cities I once read about only off the internets and experienced cultures and environments I only experienced before through the words of others. One month isn't a long time to make such noble declarations, that I have to clarify, but it is enough to open my mind up to a whole new world around me. I have had the opportunity to rethink my direction in life and the path I intend to take in time to come. Though nothing is really definite yet, the path is certainly better lit now. Those little goals and trivial aspirations I once had not too long ago are now a thing of the past. There's so much more out there, outside the perimeters of our perfect little red dot and now that I know what I am up against... I am ready to take up the challenge and embark on that journey of a lifetime which I once thought I had started 2 years back. I missed out a lot by not opting for an overseas education but I am glad I realized that now and not in 3 years to come. Actions speak louder than words and I guess whatever I say now doesn't mean much lest I make them happen in the near future to come. 

Action and Words. An event at the recently concluded Roma 2009 Fina World Swimming Championships best encapsulates the metaphor. The showdown between Cavic and Phelps. It might come across as just another epic tale in the world of Swimming but I feel that there is so much more embedded in that experience than just another footnote in the chronicles of World Swimming Championships. I learnt from it the importance of discipline, determination, being focused and most importantly humility. 

Less talk, More Action. Less distraction, more focus. Less play, more work. Those are the values I am going to start inculcating in my life hence forth. 

Monday Blues

Here I am as I sit down at my comp in my rather empty house hacking away at the keyboard. Its finally Monday and I am now officially back to being a bum with my own time back in my hands to waste. I must add that so far, I haven't let myself down yet. 

I woke up at about 11.30 am. Got to my phone only to realize that the darn tele-device was locked in the car about a 10 min walk away. I called the travel agency only to realize that the guy whom I was supposed to meet wasn't in the damn country. So much for honoring a commitment, which seems to be a common occurrence with the individuals around me these days. As mentioned in previous posts, there is little one can do by getting aggravated or upset. I believe the fault always almost lies in the "victim", the marginalized individual, the one being taken for a ride, the one who is eventually depicted as an unreasonable, petty, self-centered individual; the one typing this entry. I am, in general a happy-go-lucky person who gets along pretty well with most living things that exist and share the living space around me. However, it is sad how many often misinterpret laughter and carefree behaviour as a sign of weakness. 

I like challenges. I enjoy a good fight. Bring it on. 

Ramblings: Part 3

Sometimes I wonder if these things happen for a reason. Is there a deeper meaning behind it all or is it perhaps just some ill-conceived prank meant for the gullible. It's amazing how the all-too-familiar feeling comes out of nowhere and seizes you in a chokehold; a jolt of electricity shoots up (or down) your spine as the air gets sucked out of you slowly.. but surely. Every heartbeat echoes like a church bell on a Sunday morning, its deafening beats drowning out every other sensation one might have. Damn. Damn. Damn. It sure as hell feels good. 

With that out of the way, I guess its high time I got back to the cursed books and get some real work done. Till the next entry. 

Just a thought

Your dream in someone else's hand. Its a sucky feeling. Trust me on that. I am going to make sure I make it there before you; if you ever make it there at all. 

Change for the Future

I guess anything is possible if you fight hard enough. Game on. 

Week 7

“When Christians came to these islands they said, take this Bible, close your eyes and pray, so we did; when we opened our eyes all we had was this Bible and the white man had all our Islands.” 

- Hawaiian Kahuna

Quote of the week... I wish things were to go slightly smoother... too many bumps in the road... can be rather disheartening at times. 

Pain in the Arse... in the literal sense of the phrase :)

The procedure went pretty well, well... much better than expected I guess. I expected a hell of a lot more pain. However, due to the significantly lesser number of nerve endings down there and the life-saving painkillers I am downing every 6 hourly, the ordeal has been rather bearable, almost painless and free of discomfort in fact. The cleaning ritual isn't too bad either. I was mentally prepared to undergo 2 to 3 hours of "severe discomfort" on a 2 times daily basis but, it turns out that the incision was rather superficial and a simple rinse and dry technique is more than enough to keep the wound clean. Again, the lack of nerve endings there makes the cleaning too a lot less uncomfortable. Given the rather superficial incision and my age, the doctors are expecting me to take one to two weeks to fully recover. Till then, I guess I'll be hanging around at home, "BUMMING" around :) Thanks for the calls and messages anyway :) 

My time so far has been divided between KotOR (Knights of the Old Republic II:The Sith Lords, which to you without a clue out there is the single most enjoyable game I have ever played in my freaking miserable gaming career...), reading stories of individuals who have undergone an infinite times more amount of pain and discomfort I have gone through, trying to make heads and tales of the whole procedure of investing and Blog/Channel surfing. So... despite my temporal partial incapacitation of the lower half, or should I say lower mid-section of my body, I am having a pretty good time here.

I chanced upon a book given to me by a good friend which depicts the life-changing story of John Maclean, a promising young athlete who's entire life came to a crashing halt when he was knocked down by a truck during a bike ride down under. The book titled "Sucking the marrow out of life", is a chilling yet altogether heartwarming story of his struggles and triumphs against the immense odds stacked against him after the accident. Despite becoming a paraplegic, Maclean succeeded in beating the odds of survival and went on to conquer the Kona Ironman Race, swim the English Channel and do so much more than what any other person could even dream of achieving. His story, as mentioned above, did make me feel a whole lot better about my teeny weeny procedure but more importantly, it made me sit up and reevaluate my life thus far. It made me want to make a change in my life. I realized that more often than not, it usually takes a disastrous tragedy/incident before people start going "Oh... if only I had this... If only I had that..." Why wait till then?

So with that thought in mind, I did manage to put aside some time to really think through about what I would like to achieve by the end of this year. Now that I've got the health pertaining issues out of the way, I have got more important goals to achieve and targets to meet. This year too marks the start of my tertiary education and despite the rather anti-climatic final decision I made with regards to where I intend on pursuing my education, I would like to do well enough to either a.) transfer to the course of my desire OR b.) transfer to the university with the course I desire. I must say I have learnt a rather important lesson about time management and the importance of staying the course and keeping focus at an extremely great price 3 years ago and I doubt I'll be forgetting the cost of that lesson anytime soon. I successfully completed the inaugural Singapore Half Ironman in September 2007 and I am looking to do the same or improve on my timing at this year's Singapore 70.3 too. (Just submitted the application form:)) Should all things go according to plan this year and should I be feeling all motivated and all by the completion of this year's Half Ironman then I'll most probably be kicking off my plans to participate in next year's full Ironman in WA. Kudos to me if I even get that far I guess, but hey, it is always nice to have a plan right? Now all I've got to do is make it work :)

“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.” 

- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)