Last Entry of the Year

And just like that, it comes to an end. The coming of 2010 in approximately 10 hours time will not only mark the end of 2009, a terrible year, academically, for me nonetheless, but also come to symbolize the passing of a decade. Its hard to believe that just 10 years ago, without Sumo or this lappy to keep me company, I was getting all excited as I marked the end of a good 1999. Excellent PSLE grades, entry into RI... the sky seemed like the limit then and I was invincible. As the years went by, I got lazy and stopped working hard to bring myself to new limits and reality... through gravity... sent me crashing back down to earth. So here I stand, somewhat battered and bruised, my ego shattered upon the dusty floor, looking skywards where my mates are now soaring high above enjoying the fruits of their labour. Stung with envy and ravaged by self pity, I have cried, screamed in rage and in the terminology of the 21st century, emo-ed about the state I was and am in countless times. However, I have also learnt from my mistakes and realized what I must do next to get back up in the sky where I know I belong. The next ten years are going to come and go twice as fast, as what others who have made that journey all say, and I don't intend on taking a backseat this time around. So with that I say farewell to 2009 and hello to a new start in 2010:)

2010

My mum decided to shift the full length mirror to the corner of my room. I took the opportunity to throw out some of my junk. I got back my rather dismal results this morning and realized that my results this semester just used up my final lifeline. After a brief and frantic calculation... I realized that the situation CAN still be salvaged but it will require serious and hard work for the next 2 and a half years. I love what I am doing but I really dread the predicament I am in. Going on exchange is out of the picture for the rest of my academic career in NUS already. Its that bad. I guess I shouldn't have enjoyed myself TOO much during the academic year. I don't believe in crying over spilled milk so I doubt I am going to sob or bitch and whine over what has been done. I had a good time and I guess this is the price you pay for having a good time in Singapore. Everyone just surges ahead. I was complacent. Terribly complacent. I underestimated the competition in NUS and took things a tinge too easy. But then again lesson learnt. Painful as it is, it was a good lesson. Just as I had underestimated the competition, I overestimated the comfort I thought I'd have and the happiness I thought I'd get in other aspects of my NUS career, be it my sporting pursuits or my hall life. I was looking in all the wrong places. I realized I had my priorities the wrong way around all the time. One should be able to appreciate life BUT not at the cost of the very determinant of that quality of life in time to come. My foray into economics last semester proved to be an extremely costly experiment, with the devastating results impacting even my CAP this semester. Damage Control. That will be the central theme of 2010. Damage Control. Be it Armageddon, Deep Impact, 2012 or even AVATAR... upon the onset of some impending disaster, a hero will come forth and engage in some form of damage control and in so doing save the day in 2.5 hours. I've got about 2.5 years to salvage this mess and its high time that knight in shinning armor within me to save what's left of my tertiary academic career.

Clearance Sale

In preparation for the big move up ahead... I will be clearing tons of clothes, toys and random articles from my room... Garage Sale style haha :)

Celebration

Nothing much to celebrate this year end... BUT what the heck anyway :) Trading in those biking shoes for biking shoes and morning training sessions for late night clubbing escapades!!! Woohoo!!

Solitude

Firstly, many thanks to Terry for introducing that brilliant article to me. It is a rather heavy read but I'll try and figure my way around it soon enough. I am now in week 4 (I think...) of my retreat from the world and I must conclude that it has been rather therapeutic thus far. I have met up with a good number of old friends whom I seem to have lost touch with in the course of my life and it was great reconnecting with them. The weather has kinda ruined much of my training plans but I guess gyms and indoor training programs were developed for that very reason. After my rather public outburst last November, I learnt a great many lessons about myself. I learnt that simply wanting something isn't going to get you anywhere anytime soon. Life, sadly, does involve a bit of work and just because I've had it easy in the past doesn't mean the good things in life will be handed to me on a silver/ gold platter. So with those thoughts and lessons in mind, I have decided that I shall not be caught up in the frivolous rat race. Unfortunately, it was I who fell victim to the very "syndrome" I have been preaching about. I let what others thought of me got the better of me and succumbed to all that negativity that I thought would not affect me. Anyway, the last 4 weeks most certainly gave me more than enough time to think about all that has happened in the last 2 months and the direction my life has been thinking ever since I entered University.

Since my matriculation into NUS, I have been bitching about the living conditions, the people, the work atmosphere etc... I never once looked in the mirror and wondered if the problem laid within me instead. Sure... I might have had a falling out with my team-mates, the single most unmotivated sporting liaison officer I have ever had in my life, the worse administrative staff and the worse possible food in hall... the list goes on but again some of these conflicts/ situations were in some way perpetuated by me. So... I guess with the new year comes new resolutions... let's see if I can hold my course during that long winding journey up ahead :)

On a somewhat lighter and much more trivial note, I strongly discourage anyone from watching Storm Warriors, which I can safely say is the worse show I have watched in years. B- CGI coupled with a rather superficial storyline and ridiculous one liners... it was like watching 6 dollars burn in slow-mo over 2 hours... argh.

The Good Life

Solitude it seems is the best cure whatever it is I am undergoing. Coffee @ Starbucks, Gym @ SSC, Window Shopping in Town, Tea Sessions @ Home... thats how things are rolling as of late. Well let's hope things start looking up with the start of the New Year :)

Service

Another pet peeve of mine is bad service. Terrible, sub-standard service. I purchased my latest bike from a bike shop in the west... let's call that bike shop P1. Now don't get me wrong, the only reason why I actually bought a bike from P1 was because I did warm up to the owner and believed that P1 was the most convenient and best place to purchase the bike. And that I did, despite the saga and politicking which went on behind the scene at my expense between P1, the distributor of the frame of the bike I was looking at and another bike shop, let's call that shop "Galaxy" which was owned by a cunning, rather ambitious man. That however is another story for another blog post.

Anyway, the bike was purchased and I rode the bike for my Zurich race, the last Singapore 70.3 and the 70.3 race in Clearwater. All this time, the bike performed up to expectation, mine anyway. However, the rear derailleur was making weird clicking noises and the gear shifting simply wasn't as smooth as I had hoped it would be. I brought the bike back to P1 and all I was told was that thats how carbon bikes were, all I needed to do was to tweak the gears a bit as I rode to ensure a smooth transition between a higher to lower gear and vice versa. I took their word for it and continued riding.

After returning from my US trip and the end of year examinations, I decided to bring my bike to the shop I used to frequent before I moved to hall, SW, for servicing. There I told them about the problems I encountered whilst cycling and engaging in gear changing and all. They serviced the bike within a day and called to inform me about the cause of the weird noises. Apparently, brake cables, which is different from the other type of sheathing, was used to protect ALL my cables and that resulted in the irregular noises and poor gear engagement.

Aside from the brake cable incident, there were many other instances that left me ticked off too. The ridiculous amount of time they take to service a bike, the technician's dismissive attitude at times and most pissing of them all... the poor servicing. The last servicing I sent my bike to... let's just say I wouldn't exactly consider it a servicing at all. The gears weren't cleaned, the bike wasn't done up to expectation too. Well... Let's just say that'll be the last servicing I ever do at P1.

Its harder than it looks

I must add that it has been a rather satisfying first week :)

Reality Checked: Part 2

Its official. My application to France for a semester has been rejected. The bad news just doesn't stop coming so it seems. So where does this latest piece of news leave me? Well, I have always championed the fact that if you've got the guts to talk the talk, make sure when the time comes to walk the talk... you're willing to take that first step and more. I haven't been focused as of late and I guess my results took a beating as a result of the rather enjoyable time I have had as of late. My nonchalant attitude towards my academic pursuits have finally caught up with me and here I am left all alone in this boring island I call home whilst my peers go off to greener pastures to experience life as it is across borders. So here I am, bearing the consequences of my frivolous lifestyle, bitter and terribly upset at having been denied the opportunity of traveling overseas. Well I must reconcile with the fact that I have had a rather easy life thus far with me getting almost anything I want rather easily... and this without a doubt has quenched that hunger for more and left me too contented and way too complacent with myself and my capabilities. Now that I have re conciliated with harsh reality of my rather sorry state... what next?

Well, it seems that ever since my Clearwater race/trip, its been one reality check after the other for me, all of them harsh reality checks indeed. The truth hurts and I'll probably be thankful for feeling the pinch in time to come but right now... I am just bitter and pissed. I realized too that being nice and popular counts for shit when push comes to shove and ultimately... its the results that matter the most. So as of now, it is with great sadness that I announce that the Singapore education system has now claimed its latest victim... Me. I just buried the old me in the abandoned field beside my grass-run-route. No fanfare, no tears... just a blank face staring emotionlessly into silence and stillness of the night. Its been fun while it lasted I must say... and Thank you... Thank you very much for the memories.

Plan B

Now that its been confirmed that I won't be flying off anytime soon next next semester... where does that leave me... I guess there's always plan B :)