Afterthought

In the blink of an eye, my first semester in NUS has come and gone. Just like that. Contrary to popular belief, the hype surrounding matriculating is definitely a whole load of bull. In all honesty, I found the company, with the exception of a number of individuals, rather tiresome and the atmosphere rather... stifling. There was little spontaneity involved in day to day interactions and everyone shuffled around the school like clockwork tin soldiers, their focus fixed solely on accomplishing that next objective on that never-ending to-do list. On a more personal level, I do not even enjoy the modules I am reading. Its boring and, in my humble opinion, almost irrelevant to what I want to do later in life. All my life (let's take the age of ten as the lower limit in this definition of life), my greatest fear was grow up and be a nobody. To work long hours for decades only to fade away without leaving an impression on the people and environment around me. Looking at the way things are going thus far, I sure as hell am on the right path to doing just that. My life is a perpetual plan-in-progress. Aiming there, planning for this, yearning for that. I am trapped in a rather viscous and dissatisfactory circle or unfinished business and unaccomplished dreams and I fear as time edges forth, I will be dragged further down into the deep dark abyss of anonymity and eternal regret. If only I can find the strength to start walking the talk. I sure as hell hope the 7.35 km sprint was a sign of good things to come. Till the next entry. 

"Once upon a time,

I dreamt

I was a butterfly...Suddenly

I awoke...Now, I do not

know whether I was then

a man dreaming I was

a butterfly, or whether I

am now a butterfly dreaming

that I am a man."

- Chuang-Tzu