Friendships

I had a rather interesting exchange with a good friend a couple nights back. The long and short of that conversation (Alas a MSN one...) was that he felt I wasn't investing as much effort as he was in keeping the friendship going... that I was just way too engrossed in my own life to bother about anything else. I appreciate the subtle picture (and message...) he left me on Facebook and the quick yet meaningful conversation which soon ensued.

I did some reflecting and I do have my own take on this "friendship" discussion. I believe that any relationship, be it blood ties, colleagues at work, church mates or good friends need some form of foundation to be built upon. The strongest of these foundations is obviously those built/ forged during one's formative years or under the pressures of some form of hardship. (Childhood friends/Army Mates) Next comes those who share a common passion, a common interest... those perhaps who are in the same chapter of their lives as you... individuals you can confide in and relate to. Thats followed by the category "Friends With Benefits" (Not coined by me rest assured...) which I think is rather self explanatory. Everything else comes soon after. Obviously, in my case, family ties are something that I wouldn't even throw into a ranking category... Family ties (Especially immediate family...) in my case take precedence over ... more or less everything else.

Now when the foundation that friendship is built upon gets removed, take for example clubbing buddies, it becomes extremely challenging to keep that friendship alive. The friendship has to evolve, it has to be re-categorized elsewhere or run the risk of becoming stagnant. Once that stage of stagnancy is reached, it becomes increasingly easier to let that friendship dwindle into nothingness.

There's a lot more that needs to be said but I'll just leave it as this for now :)