Sentiments

I look at the photos and I often find myself asking yet again, why the rush to grow up. As fun as it may be, the pretentiousness of it all is just a teeny bit too overwhelming for me. Is it something worth working towards? Yes. Is it something worth rushing towards? No. Most definitely not. There's so much more work that needs to be done internally. So many things to fix, before I can safely progress to the next stage in life.

I have heard time and time again how you will be often be judged on the company you keep. I think I am making the right choices thus far. Everybody has his price, and I'd like to think that my self worth is significantly higher than certain individuals I see out there.

Back to that damn essay.

Having the cake and eating it at the same time...

"Gamblers in our midst: Unmasking the Singapore punter", a special report published in today's edition of the Straits Times, discusses the observations of a couple of ST journalists over their 5 day outings at both our casinos. I must admit that the article proved to be throughly insightful as it provided a glimpse into the lives of those individuals affected, be it positively or negatively, by the launching of these 2 IRs on our shores. I read through all the mini-articles and loved the way they categorized/stereotyped the assortment of punters who pass through the doors of both Casinos.

After reading all the articles + the recommendations at the end, I got a sense (no prizes or surprises there too...) that aside from the extra income and revenue from the casino levies and regional publicity generated by the opening of these two casinos, nothing good has come out from the establishment of these two casinos. "Technician Jerry Lee, 38, misses the celebratory dinner his mother had cooked at home...", "The last straw came when he (Mr Khoo) gambled away the last bit of money meant to settle the family's utility bill","Gambling is now his dirty little secret..." etc., the list of stories goes on and on. Personally, the negative externalities incurred by our society as a whole, far outweigh whatever profit we're generating from these two casinos. In fact, I believe that none of these social ills can be compensated by any amount of money.

Singapore isn't a state stuck in some random desert away from the rest of civilization, neither is it an island isolated from the main population reachable only by a couple hours of flying or ship. We're a small city state with our people as our only resource. Proximity makes a helluva a difference and we're starting to see the impacts of these two casinos on our society. One family broken as result of poor self restraint on the part of the gambler is one family too much. There was a report (if my memory doesn't fail me...) written a couple of years back about the feasibility of establishing these two casinos a while back and the report concluded that the casinos should NOT have been built.

Now that both casinos have been completed and opened for business, we start to see hear more and more "true" stories of individuals and families getting burnt by their escapades emerging from the shadows of these two glitzy new buildings. The broken family, the youth who started gambling merely out of curiosity, the terminally ill individual who chooses to shut himself up in a casino wasting his days away... its almost painful to carry on. Did the relevant authorities factor this into their calculations before OK-ing the casino despite strong protest from Singaporeans? I highly doubt so.

What's hilarious perhaps is the list of recommendations published after the main article. 10 seemingly well thought out and carefully planned recommendations on how to reduce the social ills emerging as a result of these two casinos. Some seem workable but others such as having social workers prowl the casino floors to spot potential gambling addicts? seriously? You can't have the damn cake and consume it at the same time I say. I seriously need to get back to my essays but yeah... go read both articles and reflect on it... Here's a quote for those out there who haven't made up their minds about gambling yet.

"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your POCKET."

- Kin Hubbard

Logical Reasoning

I made a decision a long time ago with regards how I was going to handle some of the friendships I have established over the years. There are some which just keep going on because... the friendship itself was an end in its own right and there were those that fizzled out because the friendship took too much out of one party of the other. There are some friendship that seem to flicker about like a candle in the wind but still stay firm at the end of the day and there are those that blossom like a Mexican Petunia, only to die before the next sunrise. A friend once talked to me about the importance of sustaining a friendship, the need to make an effort to groom and nurture that friendship. The friend continued to mention that the lack of enthusiasm on my part was detrimental to the sustenance of that friendship.

I see all human relationships, when stripped to its bare essence, a simple transaction of emotion between two individuals. One must have something the other needs and vice versa for that transaction to go through or that relationship to occur. The lack of enthusiasm perhaps is a result of me realizing my inability to provide you with what you seek and you not being able to do the same :) Simple and good analogy, I would say.

Passion

Never had it, never will. I wish there was an ejection lever I could pull :(

Introduction of the century :)

Evey: Who are you?

V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.

Evey: Well I can see that.

V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

Evey: Oh, right.

V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

Evey: Are you like a crazy person?

V. : I’m quite sure they will say so.

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason and plot.

I know of no reason why gunpowder, treason

Should ever be forgot…

A change indeed

I think the company truly does make the man... Indeed I have become a much happier man... swimming, biathlon and school :)

Zanny Quotes

You will tend to behave and adopt traits of the people you hang around. Its very important that you surround yourself with people you'd like to emulate... its only human nature...

Scrutiny

We live in a time and age where we need to be extra vigilante about the choice of words and expressions we use. I believe that there is nothing wrong with having an opinion but... it pays to be mindful of just how one expresses that opinion. Vague, sweeping statements of frustration and angst gets nobody anywhere... except a trip to the neighborhood police post. Its so easy to just dislike something for the sake of disliking it... but sometimes that isn't enough. If you can't substantiate or clarify what you mean online... don't even attempt to start anything. Its just going to backfire and blow up in your face as poor Abdul Malak has now realized. His choice of words, which went somewhere along the lines of "It's time to burn the minister and the PAP for this incident" was taken way out of context and became a cause of concern for the authorities. I empathize with Mr Malak. It wasn't too long ago when I found myself in a similar predicament as Mr Malak.

Having lost my temper with a fellow team-mate in Junior College over some ridiculously mundane issue, I stomped over to her lecture and gave her a piece of my mind. Somewhere in between that exchange, I told her in a menacing tone that, "if she continued to play with fire, she was going to get burnt". She went back and told her mum that I was going to set her alight or something and the next day, I found myself sitting in the principal's office with her mum, her and MY mum having tea with both the principal and the discipline master. At that juncture, I felt really pissed off with everyone involved for blowing up what I felt was a ridiculously childish issue. On hindsight, I now understand what Mr Hodge and my mum were trying to get at. That ancient chinese saying... about how its ok to "any-how" eat rice but it isn't right to "any-how" say stuff... certainly carries a helluva lot more weight than previously thought. So to Mr Malak... I say just take it as a lesson well learnt and be more careful with your opinions henceforth.

To the relevant authorities who made the arrest... I don't think arresting Mr Malak has helped much in the quest to clam down on those seeking to "incite public disorder and violence". Have a bit more faith in online community. Just as Mr Malak was able to find support for his anger and angst against the YOG organizing committee, I am pretty sure that giving those who felt contrary to how Mr Malak felt a chance to have their say against him on the internet, instead of throwing weight of judiciary against him, might have made a more positive impact on the public.

Life Stages

Everybody has issues. Some have academic issues which needs to be monitored 24/7 in some random library, others have issues pertaining to "god-knows-what" which can be rectified by downing 12 shots of "whatever-random-alcohol". Some, however, have issues which can only be solved after deep thought/reflection in a "conducive-environment". I found that "conducive-environment" today and realized that I had to be traveling at approximately 33-36 km/h along a straight and quiet road for this self-analysis mood/mode to kick in.

I have and always believed that age is merely a number. You're never too young or too old to see or do something. However, I believe that a life can be divided into stages, which isn't confined to any numerical perimeters; and that in each stage... you'll tend to be inclined to do certain stuff which you might not do or might not have done before. It wasn't too long ago when I was at that point in my life where I just wanted to do everything, be everywhere and so on and so forth. I wanted to be the best tri-athlete I could ever be... yet on the other hand I wanted to be up there, partying with the big boys; breezing past the long queues at clubs and chilling out with the who's who in whatever club I was in. I started to loose focus of what I really wanted in life and the goals I had set out for myself 2 years ago upon the completion of my national service. Indeed, I had forgotten the very vows I made to myself 4 years ago when I received my A level transcripts back in RJC. As I cycled past the airport, past ECP on my way to catch the final celebration of what seemed to be quite a successful inaugural YOG, I realized that I had lost control of where I wanted to go in life.

So there, as the last of the fireworks sizzled out and faded into the night sky, I decided that I have been set adrift long enough. Its not enough to just sit back and hate the world for the cards life has dealt me. Its time, I think, for me to up the ante and to start walking the talk :)

Answers

I finally asked the question. I sure as hell almost didn't but I am glad I did. I can't say that I wasn't expecting anything but I am really glad it turned out alright. :)