Mother's Day

Mother's day was created/ established by Anna Jarvis about a century ago to commemorate the death of her Mother and to recognize all that her mother has done for her. What began originally as a celebration of good intent has degenerated into another commercialized publicity stunt to generate more money and revenue for the tons of gifts and cards companies out there. To quote a small paragraph from Wikipedia, "Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially-successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States. For example, according to IBISWorld , a publisher of business research, Americans will spend approximately $2.6 billion on flowers, $1.53 billion on pampering gifts—like spa treatments—and another $68 million on greeting cards. Mother's Day will generate about 7.8% of the U.S. jewelry industry's annual revenue in 2008, with custom gifts like mother's rings." What I believe Wiki fails to acknowledge is the agony and heartache these "days of gratitudes" sometimes brings. Every child out there seeks desperately to produce the best gift possible in hopes of pleasing his or hers  respective parent whilst every parent, more specifically mother in this case, desperately yearns for the gift that outshines those her friend's kids had given her. I have to admit I don't often show my thanks for what I have and the privileges bestowed upon me. However I do try. A coffee in the middle of the night, some bread from provence when I return home from school, a hug and a kiss before bedtime; I always thought that those mattered the most. Should that not be the case, I had believed that 15 (Since I was in P1...)  years of Mother's day gifts and perfect celebrations would count for something at least and my how was I mistaken. I ain't in a habit of airing my dirty linen in public but I just needed an outlet, somewhere to pour out what I am feeling and stating where I am coming from. I ain't perfect and I admit that sometimes I make some of the worse mistakes possible on what was to be one of the happiest days in a year. 

Were there special, extraordinary plans made to commemorate today? No. Were there simple plans? Yes... Simple and Sincere plans were made. Were they perfect? No... most definitely not, if not I won't be writing this post now... but were they real? Yes... 

I believe it's the thought that matters the most somehow. Well to me at least. 

Do I regret whatever that has happened today? Most definitely so. I regret the numerous poor judgment calls and the insensitivity showed. I guess that in so many ways, I have been so caught up in my life that I just lost track of what really mattered most in the end. 

I believe in the power of sleep and in the new beginnings a new day brings. The next major trial in my life is less than 70 days away and I am, in all honesty, not ready for it at all. Am I worried? Hell yeah. Am I going to do something about it? Yes I am. These 70 days are going to be a test of whatever little strength and determination I have in me and I am going to prove to myself that I have what it takes to go that extra mile.

Mental exhaustion takes more out of you as compared to any form of physical exertion. No kidding. Till the next post and better days to come :)