The (Never-Ending) Pursuit of Happiness

Human wants can never be satisfied. That is a fact. The moment a want is satisfied, "puff" appears another item on the list. Those with everything or at least everything they think they need will then embark on the age-old quest of finding Happiness. They'll work hard, amasses huge amounts of wealth (the successful ones that is...), purchase ridiculous amounts of properties etc; anything to find that ever-elusive spark of happiness. What many fail to realize, until its too late, is that this little thing called happiness isn't found. It can't be discovered in some diamond mine or dug up from under the leather car seat of a Bentley or Rolls Royce; it has to be made. Incidentally, the raw materials needed to make this tiny thing called happiness aren't costly in anyway whatsoever. These materials are found in the little things we do everyday; in the smiles we see in strangers, in the sweat droplets which appear after a long bike ride; in the cheery conversations we make with friends and family about the weather and in the hopes we have for a better future. Once you're able to find all these tiny, seemingly insignificant joys in our everyday lives and internalize it all, viola, you've got yourself a lifetime's worth of Happiness right in front of you. :) I hope you realize one day that you've got everything you have right in front of you all this time :)

Latest Revenge of the Fallen Trailer

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This is "da bomb"... June 24th seems like a lifetime away!!

Friday Noon Post

Its almost noon and I have yet to do anything constructive with my time yet. Yesterday however went pretty well. I managed to catch "Angels and Demons" with Mum and Sis, finished grocery shopping for the week and progressed on my much neglected Europe Tour Itinerary Plans (ETIF... just for fun...) 

We caught AnD (Acronyms... what will we do without them...) at E-hub, a somewhat recent addition to the already overcrowded population of shopping centres in Singapore. The mall, despite its small size, boost quite a respectable number of rather interesting stores and useless stuff. These include (interesting...) a Fondue shop, a bowling alley (interesting to ME....) and many of those tiny knick-knack stores selling cute and redundant stuff which only add on to the piles of unwanted stuff at home. However, I felt that (under useless stuff...) the Ferris wheel and the pseudo-play-area/open space sponsored by Maybank on the Third floor to be a waste of space and a rather awkward addition to an otherwise quiet and quaint mall. Alrighty... back to the Cinema. 

The Cinema at E-hub is managed/ owned by the Cathay Organization (The guys who brought you Orchard Cineleisure and the Cathay...). The legroom was good and the interior done up pretty well however... the sound... was terrible... at least for me as I watched AnD yesterday... Whenever the music or the sound got louder, as the movie builds up to a random exciting scene, the speakers just started to crackle and hiss. It happened a couple of times and in someways it did mar an otherwise great day out with the family. 

After the movies and Linner (Lunch/Dinner... similar to brunch if you get my drift...) @ New York, New York, we did a bit of grocery shopping at NTUC before heading home. Again, as mentioned previously... a simple, laid-back yet enjoyable day out.

On a more serious note, I need to start taking my training seriously... 9 more weeks really is not a long time more if you ask me :( 

Sickness

I have very very sick friends. Friends who run around Mount Faber 20 times; Friends who cycle for an almost infinite distance for fun; Friends who think 21 km runs are short; Friends who do a race a week for a month and a half. Thankfully I bring normalcy to our friendships... for now :)

Recovery

My head's been throbbing ever since that "incident" last Sunday. I am not exactly sure what the heck is going on, but I don't think there's much to fear since I have suffered much more severe blows to my cranium in the past and have come out none the worse for wear after those bumps. Besides, it isn't like I had anything important up there in the first place. On top of the sporadic headaches, I am down with a cold and conjunctivitis. The cold coupled with the sinus problem that has been aggravated because of the chill I got during yesterday's swim could be what's adding on to the headaches. The other worrying thing is the tear (Yes Norman... you were right...) which happened on the cornea of my left eye. According to my GP it should take about a week to heal. It is rather sickening that all these ailments start cropping up after the damn exams and just when I need to start upping the tempo. I did manage to get myself out for a supposed long run this morning, but after about 10.2 km, I had to stop cause I really couldn't take the heat and the "exercise induced migraine" which was really starting to hurt. I decided that I ain't going to stop the workouts just yet but I will definitely reduce the intensity that I'll be performing them at. Let's just hope my body and faith in myself don't fail me now... :)

Mother's Day

Mother's day was created/ established by Anna Jarvis about a century ago to commemorate the death of her Mother and to recognize all that her mother has done for her. What began originally as a celebration of good intent has degenerated into another commercialized publicity stunt to generate more money and revenue for the tons of gifts and cards companies out there. To quote a small paragraph from Wikipedia, "Mother's Day continues to this day to be one of the most commercially-successful U.S. occasions. According to the National Restaurant Association, Mother's Day is now the most popular day of the year to dine out at a restaurant in the United States. For example, according to IBISWorld , a publisher of business research, Americans will spend approximately $2.6 billion on flowers, $1.53 billion on pampering gifts—like spa treatments—and another $68 million on greeting cards. Mother's Day will generate about 7.8% of the U.S. jewelry industry's annual revenue in 2008, with custom gifts like mother's rings." What I believe Wiki fails to acknowledge is the agony and heartache these "days of gratitudes" sometimes brings. Every child out there seeks desperately to produce the best gift possible in hopes of pleasing his or hers  respective parent whilst every parent, more specifically mother in this case, desperately yearns for the gift that outshines those her friend's kids had given her. I have to admit I don't often show my thanks for what I have and the privileges bestowed upon me. However I do try. A coffee in the middle of the night, some bread from provence when I return home from school, a hug and a kiss before bedtime; I always thought that those mattered the most. Should that not be the case, I had believed that 15 (Since I was in P1...)  years of Mother's day gifts and perfect celebrations would count for something at least and my how was I mistaken. I ain't in a habit of airing my dirty linen in public but I just needed an outlet, somewhere to pour out what I am feeling and stating where I am coming from. I ain't perfect and I admit that sometimes I make some of the worse mistakes possible on what was to be one of the happiest days in a year. 

Were there special, extraordinary plans made to commemorate today? No. Were there simple plans? Yes... Simple and Sincere plans were made. Were they perfect? No... most definitely not, if not I won't be writing this post now... but were they real? Yes... 

I believe it's the thought that matters the most somehow. Well to me at least. 

Do I regret whatever that has happened today? Most definitely so. I regret the numerous poor judgment calls and the insensitivity showed. I guess that in so many ways, I have been so caught up in my life that I just lost track of what really mattered most in the end. 

I believe in the power of sleep and in the new beginnings a new day brings. The next major trial in my life is less than 70 days away and I am, in all honesty, not ready for it at all. Am I worried? Hell yeah. Am I going to do something about it? Yes I am. These 70 days are going to be a test of whatever little strength and determination I have in me and I am going to prove to myself that I have what it takes to go that extra mile.

Mental exhaustion takes more out of you as compared to any form of physical exertion. No kidding. Till the next post and better days to come :)

Change

I find it highly improbable that much good will come out of whatever I am doing or attempting to do now. I honestly don't enjoy whatever I am doing in school. It is scary how reality often pales in comparison to the seemingly limitless dreams one has when one is  insolent. It scares me just how fast the world moves. Friends who used to sit right across you during recess now surging forth, embarking on adventures one can only dream off. Schoolmates whom you used to catch a glimpse of as you trudge through school now captured only in photographs taken in far-away places. Perhaps the greatest tragedy of all is how a long time ago, it was I who thought would be the one who will be that journey of a lifetime; the journey of mental and spiritual transformation. Things obviously have not changed much for me judging from my viewpoint. 

I have been having many sleepless nights. I stay awake till 2 reading, studying and continue to stay up till 5 or 6 most of the time just lying in bed, listening to some old forgotten tune wondering what went wrong and how the heck did I end up in such a mess. Was it the lack of determination, or was it the lack of self-motivation? Were the odds against me right from the start, or did I just not seize whatever opportunities that availed themselves to me? Or perhaps was it because for that short period in time, I tried so damn hard to be someone I wasn't, to walk a path that wasn't meant to be? 

I have to say that the predicament I am in now is a rather interesting one. I am thoroughly happy with the friends I have and the life I am leading yet I am extremely dissatisfied with the current state of affairs I am in. Well... I don't have much time left to figure things out. I have one last paper tomorrow and upon its conclusion comes too the conclusion of my first year. Tragically, I have absolutely nothing to show for it at all, lest some As' and Bs' in courses and modules which I have absolutely no interest in. On the bright side however, this epiphany could not have come at a much better time. Change, in many ways, is like a Sumatran Squall (I thought it only apt to add in some local analogy...), always looming in the distance, seemingly hesitant in its movements but unstoppable when in motion... (Again... its almost midnight so pardon the analogy should it be deemed inappropriate) you only have a general idea of when it might hit but never anything definite. Alright... break's over... back to Econometrics...

One more day

Sometimes all it takes is a miracle... I know for a fact that didn't happen yesterday at approximately 1 p.m. :) Lets see how things go tomorrow :)

AWARE results Vids.

Say it's possible.

Terra Naomi's youtube release of (I think...) her first and very successful single... Just thought it be best to share the good things with everyone... 5 more days :)